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Okay, this is the
last xanga post from me forever…haha sorry but I know I am not going to keep up
with this when I go back home. I have 7
days left in this country, and I have no idea how I feel about it. I want to go home when I am on the phone with
my family, or when I talk to you guys online, or on skype, or read your emails,
but I want so much to stay here when I am out to dinner at the local pizzeria,
when the guy from the best sandwich shop in the world says ciao to me as we
pass in the street because he knows I always get a tacchino, mozzarella, and
pesto panino, when I spend the night in a hippie bar listening to Italian
reggae and joining in with the crazy dances, especially now that all the
Christmas lights are up and the town is glowing. There are three things I am going to miss the
most about this place:
1)
the
views. Every single place you walk passes some kind of incredible vista. Perugia is on the tippity-top of the hills of Umbria so we look out
over everything.
2)
The
air markets. They spring up everywhere
for any reason and they are always full of friendly people, my favorite is the
non-biological market that sets up in the piazza near my apartment the last
Sunday of every month. And the Deruta pottery guys who bring their best stuff
and set up on the shady side of the duomo steps.
3)
Being
able to do nothing. I am going to miss
doing whatever I want whenever I want and not thinking about if I have time for
it, if its okay, or if I should call 15 other of my closest friends and invite
them.
This semester has been a great break, its been hard but so worth
it. I hope it has changed me and I guess
I will see when I get home. My creative
writing class focused on writing about Italy
and I have put my final paper on the end of this post, its just some
reflections about Italy,
and what this semester has meant to me especially concerning missing out on
things at home. I don’t know how it
happened but somewhere along the way Italy became home…I also want to
thank everyone for writing me and keeping me posted on life in the states I
really appreciated it.
But its Christmas time again, and I will be back in my old life
before I know it…
(oh also everyone needs to change their search engine site from Google
or whatever you use to www.goodsearch.com,
at that site you can pick a charity you want to donate to and every time you
use the search engine the company donates money to your cause its an amazingly easy
way to give back so PLEASE just bookmark it and make the switch)
Thankful
The Ohio State University clobbered
Michigan, the democrats took control in November, my best friend promised her
future to one man, a baby named Aprillia was born, and my sister is no longer a
college student. The study-abroad
packets should have included some warning, a footnote to ease the shock, note: The world will continue to turn while
you are in another country. I did
know this, my selfish views of a self-centered universe were denounced by
Copernicus long before I had even come up with them. Now, 100 days into my stint in Italy,
I can clearly see the parts of life that have slowed down only to push me out
of the moving car.
What I have missed out on is clear,
concrete holidays, memories, and milestones, but what have I to show for Italy? In true Italian fashion the treasures I will
take home from this mystical place are unclear.
I have been absent from my life, the life I have spent twenty years
building, for four months now and it is easy to see where holes have
formed. In the end though, which
coincidentally is where I find myself currently, I see that I have gained so
much from my Italian life. And I am
taking this time to detail the most prominent of my discoveries, so that I will
not become remiss when I return to my life state-side. Very exciting things may have happened at
home while I was gone, but Italy
has been just as exciting, if not more!
One
thing I will take home is the knowledge that Italy is a country built on
secrets. It is decisively discriminate,
much like the local people. As a person
coming to this country, in hopes of finding all its wonders, Italy requires a staunch
personality resume. You must be
confident, confident of your ability to find places that don’t exist on maps or
in guidebooks. You must be willing to be
led astray, and end up in the one place you didn’t mean to go. In short, you must trust blindly in the ways
of the winding cobblestone pathways and their ability to take you exactly where
you need to be. And when something
changes, like my daily walk home, you must explore it.
One
of the doors in the alley was open. I
had never seen anyone around this alley before, just the beat up blue Vespa
that has permanently taken up residence on the far right corner of the
walkway. That day though, the door was
open. Purposefully, I walked very slowly
through the alley. Used heroin needles
have been known to decorate this portion of my commute—I had reason to be
cautious. I neared the opening and was
certain I would find something or someone I certainly would not have wanted to
find. I peered distantly around the
corner hoping to avoid eye contact with whoever was inside but to still get a
glimpse of the interior. I was
confronted boldly by a stunningly large space. The floors were shining marble, frescoes and wall hangings flanked the
borders. Decorative statues and flower
arrangements were perfectly positioned and sunlight flooded through the windows
positioned at the top of the vaulted ceilings.
What I had presumed to be a dusty unused storage garage, as it would
have undoubtedly been in the states, was a church.
In my last three weeks I have discovered
more in this little town of Perugia
that I have known all semester. I
discovered that church, also that there is a second floor to the local kitchen
and everything supply store, I found the best family pizza place, there
actually is Catholic Mass in the Duomo, and the beauty of the movie theatre
could pass for an elite opera house. Italy
is alive under the surface of its tough and worn exterior and this semester has
helped me to become more like the country I can now call home.
I don’t have a lot of problems in my
life, I am a pretty pulled together person in general but I cannot sit
still. I am impatient one-hundred
percent of the time. One of the most
exciting things that Italy
has helped me to discover is how to be alone.
I don’t say this to prove a point of my sadness while I was here, or my
homesickness because that most assuredly is not the case. Being alone is something I believe every
society, every person fears because for some reason it scares us, for some
reason it is not okay. In America
you will find me busy, too busy to even relate to you the business of my
life. I have friends, family,
obligations, meetings, classes, work, hobbies, passions, and errands. In Italy you will find me calm. My days here have not been bracketed by a
schedule; my nights are meeting-less. In
Italy,
I have learned the power of a quiet moment.
Italians know how to slow things down.
I do wonder though if sometimes they stay in at night, let the Duomo
steps trash themselves and apply that slowness to their souls.
I have also learned the importance
of beauty. I do not mean to address the
over-dressed women and designer lifestyle this country solicits, but rather the
beauty of the world. Every turn here is
a vista, every building a historic landmark breathtaking enough to be of danger
to those with weak hearts. I say the
importance of beauty because it is important.
Going through life everyday without beauty would be well, ugly, and
depressing. When I return home I will
look for beauty in places I have found it here; in architecture, in the people,
and in the distance. Seeing Italy
does not put the rest of the world to shame but rather makes the rest of the
world more beautiful. Knowing that stunning places like Cinque Terre exist help
me to know that the earth was made skillfully all for our delight, which for
some reason gives me hope.
I am comforted by these thoughts
about what I have learned. It was
Emerson who said it best (as he always seems to) “For everything you have
missed, you have gained something else; and for everything you gain you lose
something else.” A semester abroad is an
opportunity they said, it is a chance to see and experience so much you
wouldn’t at home. Italy has helped me do just
that. I may have missed out on the big
game, on family time, and important moments, but Italy has let me in on some of its
most guarded secrets and shown be how to find solace in the secret part of my
life that when I am surrounded by friends and activities I cannot access. So, for all these reasons I am thankful to Italy—Arrivederci Italia, vederla nei miei sogni!
(Goodbye Italy,
see you in my dreams!)
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